"It's Okay to Not Like Reading"

Came across a post the other week called When Your Homeschooled Child Doesn't Like to Read. This was a good and challenging blog post for me to read. I often think about the possibility of my youngest daughter or future children falling into this category. How would I react given that my husband, myself, and my oldest daughter adore reading? How much pride do I put into reading = intelligence, reading = worth, reading = success that I am unwilling to admit? Would I harbor resentment? Would I be overbearing? The author says this about her friend Stacey's advice:

"Stacey’s words helped me realize that I harbor a prejudice against non-readers. And it’s silly. I can let her not like reading without interpreting it as a failure on my part or thinking she’s less intelligent. 

My daughter has other talents and passions that are equally as important as reading. Instead of harping on her distaste for reading, I need to invest in her love of art, music, and foreign language. (And I do!) I need to build her up as the creative, brilliant young woman that she is instead of worrying about reading as if it is the single factor of academic success."

Now if you go to the blog post (which I recommend you do) you will see that she does NOT let her daughter just not read just because she doesn't enjoy it (like my triple negative, there?). I think this is necessary even if your child is a slow reader or more auditory-inclined. Growing up, math and science were difficult for me, but that did not (and frankly should not) have given me a free pass on it. Work at your child's pace and modify, but don't give up! In the blog post, she describes her daughter as more of an auditory learner, so she is given audio books or is read to some for her classes. Her curriculum gets tailored to her which is a huge benefit of homeschooling, alleviating frustration that would most likely come in public or private school when she could not be accommodated well due to class size. However, it's not always a death sentence for those taught en masse. Many of the books I taught 9th, 10th, and 11th graders were available on CD at the local library and homework could be done by listening to the story and writing down thoughts and answers at home. Nowadays you can use an iPad, Kindle Fire, or audible.com. The physical book could be used for looking at key passages during class time. How I wish parents would encourage alternatives like audio books for their children rather than give up completely. Giving up on your child's experience with taking in information is not the way to go! 

Back to the original discussion of fueling passions and finding success beyond reading, it seems that I am never more awed and humbled than when I hear a college friend's original piano music. He's not much of a reader, but the creativity that comes out of his fingertips blows me away every time. He is on another plane when he gets going and articulates emotions that the most renown novelist couldn't touch. What if someone had said to him constantly, "Quit wasting your time playing that piano and read some Hemingway!" When I think back to my middle and high school days trying to play the flute, I see now that I didn't feel music like my college friend; that's not what I was passionate about. Hence why I have the ability to be an English teacher and he has the ability to compose movie soundtracks in his head and we can both appreciate each other's talents. God makes us wonderfully unique and as parents and friends we have to make room in our hearts and minds for that truth even when it frustrates us to do so.  

The book I got for Mother's Day had some discussion from the author's father who said he biggest regret was going to college when he was so mechanically inclined. He wanted to go to trade school so badly, but he also felt he needed to please his mother by using his G.I. Bill and pursuing his education. It was a good reminder that this confusion of what constitutes "intelligence" and "success" has been going on long before I was born.  

Now, Justin and I are still very much in favor of our girls going to college (a discussion for another day) and reading is still VERY important in our house, but these thoughts about intelligence are certainly something to chew on and to give us pause in dealing with things more compassionately. The author of the blog post gives a very level-headed discussion on the topic that involves compromise on both parts (hers and her daughter) and a willingness to examine her own prejudices in regards to "non-readers".  

   

Have any of you seen these scenarios played out in your life or in the lives of others? How do you handle "non-reading" situations in your classroom or home? 

Shared Experiences

For Mother's Day Justin ordered Rod Dreher's new book (we've been salivating over it for a month or so now). It's called The Little Way of Ruthie Leming, a confessional memoir style book about his sister Ruth who stayed in their small town in Louisiana and Dreher who moved out at an early age to pursue the big city. Here are some of the reviews posted by Amazon: 

If you've ever felt an outsider in your own family, you've got to read this book. If you have ever had any "sibling-issues" you've got to read this book. This true, powerful, deeply-moving, and masterfully-told story is nothing less than a gift. And yes, indeed: it will change lives.

-- Eric Metaxas, New York Times bestselling author of Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy

If you are not prepared to cry, to learn, and to have your heart cracked open even a little bit by a true story of love, surrender, sacrifice, and family, then please do not read this book. Otherwise, do your soul a favor, and listen carefully to the unforgettable lessons of Ruthie Leming.

-- Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love

This is an authentic and deeply touching memoir, which honestly asks many of the best questions about the things that matter. Interacting with this story will change you!

-- Wm. Paul Young, author of The Shack and Cross Roads

This book will make you feel hunger pangs for what you didn't know you even missed. And then it will feed you, line upon line, soul bread. As the Israelites ate manna in the desert, Dreher's evocative prose gathers the unforgettable manna moments of Ruthie Leming's life.

--Ann Voskamp, author of One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are

Rod Dreher tells a tale of dear things lost and dear things restored, but also, and unflinchingly, confronts some harder truths about old wounds that never fully heal and old misunderstandings that won't quite go away. This is a book that strives for truth more than beauty-and is all the more beautiful for it.
-Alan Jacobs, author of The Pleasures of Reading in an Age of Distraction 

Dreher is a Christian, but his book has got critics from the far right and left singing his praises. To me, that's a sure sign of a winner if you can get people with totally different ideologies and worldviews seeing the value of a story.

I admit it's a bit strange for me to get so excited about a gift because by nature receiving gifts is not high on my love language list. I much prefer quality time or words of affirmation. However, as I was doing laundry today it occurred to me why I love when Justin gets us books. I say get "us" books because we get to SHARE the experience together. 

When both spouses are working two different jobs, being able to SHARE experiences can be a very difficult thing to come by. For example, when I taught high school Justin always used to say it felt like we were living two separate lives because he couldn't relate to the specific kind of discouragement I found with absentee students and parents. Likewise when he would have "desk job" complaints, I had a hard time understanding the management "totem pole" and protocol.

Just recently we had to make a difficult decision to turn down an opportunity to take a 10 day trip to Greece to visit a missionary couple we support. We have a lot on our plates coming up in September and the timing felt wrong to add one more thing amidst a host of new responsibilities I am going to take on with homeschooling and insurance. I told Justin he could go by himself, but he said he was not going to go on another emotionally difficult trip without me. He said it was too hard to have a life-changing experience and not have me completely understand his heart because I wasn't there. Based on past experience, he's right. Several years ago, it was hard for us to even have a conversation for about a week when he got back from Haiti.     

All this to say, reading the same book and being able to discuss it deeply really brings us together when our daily grinds work to keep our hearts apart. I believe Justin knows this about our relationship which is why I am thankful he buys me gifts like these. He's trying to show how he wants to lead our family by protecting our marriage through the written word.    

Mother's Day Tribute, Temple Grandin, and Insurance Rates

One of the biggest trends in the medical world right now is the rise of autism. Some would say it's the rise of diagnosis, not a huge mass of actual cases. But whatever way you look at it, one thing is very clear -- there's still a lot we don't know about it. There are people we meet as adults every day who exhibit distinguishable symptoms of being somewhere on the autism spectrum, but weren't diagnosed and whose parents were told by professionals that their child was destined for a life devoid of meaning or purpose.    

If you are looking for a good movie about this topic, look no further than the HBO made-for-TV movie Temple Grandin. It features the life of Dr. Temple Grandin, who because of her Asperger's was able to change an ENTIRE industry's way of thinking. If you're unfamiliar with Asperger's Syndrome, it's considered a form of high-functioning autism where it's difficult for individuals to have meaningful social interaction with other people. These indivudals tend to lack the ability to pick up on normal social cues. For many with Asperger's, it makes school (where you have to interact with everyone constantly) a traumatic experience. In addition, individuals with Asperger's have a tendency to lock in on something that fascinates them and they learn every minute detail about it, sometimes causing them to neglect other studies. They can memorize facts exceptionally well and won't forget them. Animals can be of comfort because they are capable of receiving love, but don't require all the subtleties of body language and speech like a person who expects appropriate give and take. In Dr. Grandin's case, she was empathetic to the cows on her aunt and uncle's ranch.  

Dr. Grandin learned by observing and spending most all of her time with cows during her summers. Out of that passion, she was able to save ranchers thousands of dollars by her acute sense of order and efficiency (due to her Asperger's) and sensitivity to cows. She designed a complex system to help herd cattle gently to slaughter to ensure a humane death which would produce better meat. However, her path to success wasn't an easy one. People (men in particular) told her she was a crazy and that her ideas had no merit. Everyone wanted to stick with the "the way it's always been done" even if even if that meant it cost them some cows and they had to hire some extra hands. Temple saw a better way to deal with cows and that led to some of the biggest reforms the cattle business has ever seen. Temple went on to eventually got her doctorate in animal science from the University of Illinois and has written many books about autism.       

But there's an even larger picture to her contribution that I was only able to understand after I started studying insurance: 

Two months ago as I studied for my property and casualty test under the farm section I was reminded of how many times innovation and efficiency can contribute to an overall good. Because Dr. Grandin was able to save the farmers from loss of livestock and having to hire extra hands, that meant less liability and fewer claims submitted for dead cows. That means that the insurance companies don't have to pay out as much which means everyone's costs stay lower. So not only did she improve the physical job and lessen insurance claims for ranchers, she improved the financial situation for the entire commercial industry. Underwriters and insurance agents were probably dancing in the streets thanks to her! Talk about a legacy!


But here's something you may not know about Dr. Grandin: she had an extremely supportive and tenacious mother. Dr. Grandin's mother was told by doctors that her daughter's problems were her fault and that she needed to take her to an institution. Through much sacrifice and ridicule, her mother disregarded those who told her Temple's life was worthless. Dr. Grandin's life is a tribute to mothers everywhere who know (in Dr. Grandin's own words) that their child is different, but not less.  


Do you know someone like Dr. Grandin's mother? Share your inspiring mother or might-as-well-be-my-mom stories in the comments!     

Around the House Games and Activities For Children

This is a post is to help you find things around your house that can be used as supervised learning tools for your child. One thing you always have to keep in mind as you do these activities is this -- you don't have to look for mastery, just for learning!

   

Cutting Expired Coupons -- My daughter loves scissor practice for at least 30 minutes to an hour (one of the few things I have found to occupy her while I am cleaning or working on dinner). If you think about it, it's a great way to let them practice fine motor skills without having to spend any money on workbooks. Even if you don't buy a newspaper for coupons, places like Publix have in-store flyers that have TONS of rectangular dotted lines for your preschooler to enjoy. 

Collages From Old Magazines -- Don't recycle your magazines until you've gone through them! You can do all manner of collages with your child. You could let your child find, cut, and paste all "B" words and pictures he/she finds. You could do an animal collage and let them find, cut, and paste animals. Or you could combine the ideas and do all animals that start with a certain letter. The possibilities are endless, so the bottom line is, don't let this free resource hit the recycle bin just yet!    

Placemats - I've been seeing a lot of Pinterest ideas lately that involve using placemats. I think these are one of those great tools that are practical (they help keep your table from messes), but can be used to any degree of learning you want. They are conversation pieces when you're waiting for dinner to be on the table. Right now all I do with our 3 1/2 year old is talk to her about the US in terms of where we live, where I was born, where her dad was born, where her grandparents live, the biggest state, the littlest state, etc. She remembers those states well and some of their capitals, too. When we look at the planets placemats (in which Pluto has been relegated to a dwarf planet along with Ceres and Eris -- see I learned as well!!) we talk about the legend in the corner and the orbit of the planets. I never feel pressured to give a science lecture (because she's, you know, 3 1/2), but I do sometimes have to say, "Your dad will explain to you about black holes and shooting stars when he gets home, okay?" when she has a genuine interest. Many of them are also multilingual so if you're working on Spanish or French you can incorporate some of the words they might know. Obviously, you can do much more complex concepts with the placemats as they get older.The placemats we have currently are: handwriting/ABC, addition (up to 10), map of the US, map of the world, American presidents. Those alone could last us years!             

Bananagrams - If any of you have this game it's great for emerging readers. You can do a number of things with it. Today I built words and had her sound them out phonetically while she worked on picking out her own words to make. We built our words just like the game (looking like a crossword puzzle). Hers were 3 and 4 letter words. Obviously mine were more challenging words, but she still tried to sound some of them out. This game is good investment for a range of reading -- from your child's first experience with blends and phonics to an experienced reader. 

Bunco, Dominos, and Dutch Blitz - If you're like me Candyland gets WAY old after about a week of having it in the house. I always seem to win unless I covertly stack the deck for my daughter, so Justin and I started looking for some other games to play with her. We were surprised to discover that a lot of games for adults work quite well for a 10 minute break or an hour before bedtime. With Bunco all your child has to do is roll the dice and look for specific numbers. No strategy to this game like in perhaps Yahtzee-- all luck here. She loves rolling the dice and getting the big fuzzy die when she rolls a 1-2-3.

With Dutch Blitz we've shown her how to set up her deck like adults do but we don't get all fast and furious with putting the cards down. She looks through her "wood pile" for 1's to place while my husband and I go super slow putting our cards out there. We've done it often enough now that she can somewhat multi-task and look for where she can place other numbers. Again, just looking for learning -- number sequence and so forth.

Dominoes are good for all kinds of things. Just by playing the actual game you reinforce counting, skip counting, and being able to visualize a number. My friend Sara, also had a great idea where her son had several dominoes set up and he made them each into math problems using a dry-erase placemat. For instance, if a domino had 3 on one side and 4 on another he counted and wrote 3, wrote a plus sign, counted and wrote 4 followed by the equals sign and 7 as the answer.      


I should add to make sure you don't overplay these games. When your child is ready to stop playing or is getting really frustrated, don't push your luck. The idea is for learning, not for you and your child to shelve these games out of several bad experiences.  

Baking Together -- As I said in a previous post, I love baking with my daughter. She doesn't get to do every step of the recipe, but now that she can read she will list several of the basic ingredients, she has learned what the BIG T and the little t stand for in a recipe, she is familiarizing herself with basic fractions. It's not mastery (does anyone ever master cooking?), it's hands-on learning by repetition. The biggest benefit I see is learning a certain appreciation for providing something our family needs multiple times a day. Ironically, I find we are making memories of the best kind by learning through what many would call the mundane -- doing the "daily grind" together. 

Some of you are already doing a lot of these things or something more creative than what I have here, so I want to encourage you to stop and assess learning from the activities you are doing with your child. I suspect you'll find that you are teaching them FAR more skills than you initially thought! I hope that is an encouraging thought for you all today :)   

Feel free to share some things around your house that you use with your children in the comments. We can learn from each other!          

You Talkin' To Me?

Who have I been talking with this week? Today I'm going to feature the EPB man. Let's just say some unlikely encouragement about education came my way.

Let me ask you readers a question. When someone comes to wire your house for faster internet do they usually try to give you solid biblical marriage advice? I'm guessing your answer is no. In my experience, when people come to fix things around here they don't engage in much talk beyond some wild tales from the trenches of whatever their specialty is. 

On Wednesday I was taken aback when the middle-aged EPB guy started telling me (and my close friend) how he was on the brink of divorce at one time, but the Lord brought him back. To be fair, my friend and I were talking on the patio while our girls were playing in the backyard and he didn't have to strain to hear us. To be honest, I didn't even remember he was there. We were talking about when things get intense in our marriage and how we as believers know how God has called us to honor our spouses, but obedience to the Lord is so *stinking* difficult when we feel wronged. He started out by saying, "Now I'm not trying to pry, but I overheard you ladies talking..." Such a Southern way of saying things. I am so thankful that I live in a place where we can still start conversations like that. Small talk is a natural part of doin' business down here.   

He proceeded to tell us: 

• that he was from a broken home where his dad was a good provider, but not a great father. 
• that he has been married for 20 years and has 3 children.  
• that the Lord has been faithful to him even when he was about to call it quits. 
• that -- and this really blew me away because our culture COMPLETELY shuns this idea -- he realized that he knew God was telling him he needed to work on HIMSELF when he was tempted to criticize or blame his wife.  
• that he regularly talks to his 17 year old daughter about virtue and he has a very close relationship with her. 
• that the best advice he could give me was to seek out older women to receive mentoring from in my church.

Again I say, does your electrician share these kinds of things with you?

Am I weird that it totally did not bother me? I know some people would recoil in indignation. As he got ready to leave, I told him how much I appreciated his humble courage to give countercultural advice to a stranger. He overrode whatever apprehension he must have had to try and encourage someone with theology. What a ministry this man has! Experience and trust in the Lord had been this man's teacher and allowed him to break the generational cycle of brokenness he experienced.  I wonder how many other times people have told him to butt out or to keep his religion to himself? I wonder how much easier his message would be accepted if he decided to say, "I get into arguments all the time with my spouse, too. You just have to do what makes YOU happy. If you're wronged, then wrong them right back! You don't have to put up with that! Your kids don't need that, etc..."      

Let me reiterate, I was so shocked and thankful to hear him say I needed to examine my own heart. 

I need to hear that every day of my life, even from strangers.  

This 30 minute experience with the EPB man reminded me of how we are tempted to venerate missionaries and pastors as the only ones who are really carrying out any "real" ministry. We denigrate our own callings as  something less valuable, but we need more fathers like the EPB man sharing with a lost world about God's faithfulness in the hard times.

Who else have I been talking to this week? My two neighbors... both retired teachers who brought up the state of our schools since TCAP week has just finished up around here. They were sad, but honest conversations. Stay tuned...   

Talkin' 'Bout My Education: Part 3 -- Preparing to Leave the Netherlands

This is a continuation from Part 1 and Part 2 about my friend's experience with the European school systems in the 1990's.

WARNING: This post is somewhat graphic. Truthful, but graphic. 

So what does a young child in the Dutch system do all day? Practice standing in lines, of course! Yes, you read that correctly. Lines are an essential part of life in Euro, and the education system spends much time to make sure their citizens know how to do this properly. For much of the morning my son was in school, he was being taught how to stand in the line to go outside, to go inside, to go to the bathroom, to go to the lunch area, etc. To this day, he is able to wait patiently in lines whereas many people are restless; I guess some good came from the hours of his “in line instruction!”

We made the decision to move from The Netherlands once we received the final notice that we would not be allowed to homeschool. We were asked why we “feared” the Dutch system, and it wasn’t so much “fear,” as it was conviction we were to be instructing our son. However, we did have strong reservations of placing our child into the Dutch education system and here are a few reasons.

De Morgenster School was a model school for all The Netherlands. It was started by our YWAM base and at that time, it was the only Christian school in the country. There were Catholic, church-related, and Islamic schools, but no Christian schools. Our base recruited and brought top-notch Christian teachers into this school who were YWAMers as they helped to pioneer a Christian presence in an education sphere. During my son’s time at the school, many unforeseen problems occurred, and I later learned these were actually common in all Dutch schools.

The Netherlands is known for its free sex and free drug environment. Everywhere you look, naked women are used to sell items. On buses, for instance, you would see an advert for a particular bread, and the logo was a silhouette of a nude woman. What a naked woman has to do with bread is beyond me, but this was quite normal advertising. It translated into the children’s attitudes in schooling; there was an early interest in sex, and children in the school experimented much younger than you would expect. In De Morgenster, some of the 4 and 5 year olds were having oral sex in the bathrooms. As the children grew older, sex was an accepted part of life, and it was not uncommon to realize many 10 - 12 year olds were sexually active. Although legally, the “age of consent” in The Netherlands at that time was 12, officials simply “looked away” from the younger ones who were “expressing themselves and finding their sexuality.” Another prominent aspect of the Dutch society was the interest in the occult. As a country who welcomed and embraced free sex, free drugs, homosexuality, prostitution, and all manner of perversions, the Dutch have moved further away from their Christian heritage, and the schools have moved more and more into spiritual experimentation. It was quite normal to hear of the encountering of spirit guides during classes. Teachers had closets where students could go to commune with their spirit guides, or to practice their religious beliefs from witchcraft to voodoo, and due to the large number of immigrants the Dutch allowed, the mixture of beliefs was truly staggering. All this effected their schooling. While they might excel in their languages, they were “failing” in educating in truth. The Germans found the Dutch an easy people to manipulate during the World Wars, and after living there, I can certainly better understand how that happened...

Our time in The Netherlands was drawing to a close, and it could not come soon enough! My son was 5, and he was now being required to be in school all day; I volunteered each day in my son’s class at De Morgenster while waiting for our moving date! We knew we were called to be in Euro, and we knew we were to homeschool, so our options narrowed considerably. It was either Spain (which allowed homeschooling at that time), or the UK. We packed up our rowhouse, stored almost all our household items in a storage area in Rotterdam and shipped a small bit to our next destination, which is the next stop in our education ventures.

Tartans, anyone?

Stay tuned next month for Part 4...

The Power of Experts and Networking

Well, I'm back into binging on books that help me understand how people learn and how they choose to navigate life. This time the theme is marketing to help get my head around what exactly I'm supposed to be doing with my new part-time insurance career.

What have I learned so far? Networking will get you very far and even farther if you paint yourself as an expert. Not a pretentious expert, but rather the go-to person about a particular field.

Everything I have been reading lately has helped me frame a concept I latched onto a few years ago after re-discovering Malcolm Gladwell-- transactive memory. In a nutshell, there's not enough time and not enough interest, and not enough brain space for everyone to be an expert on every subject. We all know this, so we seek out those who can give sound advice on the areas we don't understand or have little interest in going deeper with. 

For example, think about artisan bread. Many of us like to buy it, but few of us have the time or the attention to detail to actually make it. We could learn about artisan bread making, but in the world of time vs. cost most of us are just not going to go to that much trouble even for a delicious loaf of bread. Therefore, many are perfectly happy to go to Niedlov's and for $6-$8 continue to let them be the expert in that area. In economic terms, expertise is a scare resource, so we are willing to pay more for the knowledge we don't have.        

Some of you may say, well isn't that why we major in things when we go to college? Of course, but if you really want to be successful in your field you can't just have a degree, you have to invest MORE time and become an expert that people are going to go to meet their needs or desires. This is why we go to specialists instead of general practitioners for our serious medical needs. In my case, there are LOTS of insurance agents in the world, but I have to go beyond just knowing the facts. I have to demonstrate that I am an expert who cares and who wants to truly educate without reinforcing the pushy, egomaniacal, salesperson stereotype.    

The particular book I have been reading the past few days, Gravitational Marketing, is directly related to increasing sales for small businesses. Their premise is that if you follow some basic guidelines of networking, you will have people coming to you for your business instead of you having to market and hound them to death to buy. Honestly, it's poorly edited (i.e. it could have been cut down to about 100 pages and have been just as helpful) and written by extroverts who are clearly better at communicating their ideas through speaking and interaction rather than conveying them in a stationery mode. Even as a extrovert myself, I'm a little turned off by the general vibe that I get, but I have to admit they make some good points. 

People want experts because they aren't going to spend the time (for whatever reason -- not interested, not enough time, too specialized, etc.) to become an expert, so they will be loyal to someone who demonstrates a) exceptional proficiency in the area they have a need or desire and b) a genuine interest in them as a consumer and a person. When people perceive that kind of value from the expert, they tell WANT to tell other people. They want their friends to have the same comforting experience. This eliminates the expert having to beg and plead to get people in the door.

That's where networking comes in. The more people are aware that you, the expert, have a product they need the more you have a chance to help them in a way that is mutually beneficial. 

Now despite what I've said about the book I've been reading, I don't think being an expert or even networking is strictly an extrovert's field. Perhaps in sales it helps to have a passion for people and hard work, but a company is more than its public face. I see some of you wiping your foreheads off now :) One of the best networkers I know is a man from my church who is most definitely an introvert. He is a behind the scenes worker and has served faithfully in a number of capacities for 25 years. Because of the nature of his job, he is connected to just about every business person in town. He is an expert in his occupation, his ethics are informed by his faith, he is very well-read because he has such a variety of interests, and he is exceptionally cultured yet very down to earth. If this man makes a recommendation, you'd be a fool not to listen.

The takeaway here is that new learning and education happen ALL the time within our everyday relationships. We can't just close up shop after we've walked across the stage for our degree and think we're done with what people have to teach us. Learning happens through building/maintaining relationships every single day if we take the time to ascribe them their true value.  

An American Indian

What's it like learning (from birth) about the world in India when you're from American stock? Some precious friends of ours moved to India several years ago and chose to have their son there and raise him there. Their son is 2 months younger than my oldest (so around 3 1/2), so it's been such a unique experience tracking their journey knowing that we were both raising our first children in totally different settings. Justin and I have learned how to love people better and more intentionally from their experiences in India. I encourage you to check out their fair-trade business, Dekko Trading.     

Here's a little preview from their latest blog post called "The Global Child". It describes the unique perspective their son will have with India being his home versus the America they grew up knowing.  

"I heard recently how multi-national companies are searching for employees who grew up cross-culturally. Their reasons are smart and simple. People who grew up in a cross-cultural context know how to navigate through multi-cultural situations, not to mention the maze of Heathrow Airport! Usually they have increased language aptitude, if they aren't already proficient in two or more languages.They are comfortable with people who may look, act, or think differently and can recognize the value that people from different backgrounds bring to the work table. In this ever-increasingly flat world, companies are looking for anything that will give them an edge, and globally savvy employees are a key component to their solutions. 

Now I'm not looking for our boy to land a multi-national job anytime in the near future! But I'm thrilled to be mom to a global child. Love the lessons that he's learning at such an early age. That life is about people. That life is not something you watch on TV but something you experience with your best pals. That food (and life) is best enjoyed when you share it with others. And that there's always room for one more person in the rickshaw..."  

What Have You Done For Me Lately?

Not my children, but...it's been pretty busy around here.

For those of you who have been following my blog posts, you may have noticed the infrequency as of late. 

Let's just say I've been busy. Busy with sickness. Busy with studying for to get licensed to sell insurance. Busy with church obligations. Busy with pursuing a homeschool opportunity for my oldest. Busy with planning out our vacations this year (including a special one with some of my college friends). Busy with a consistent Bible study program one day a week. The gym has been neglected for about a month now. I feel like I have barely kept up with my in-laws (who I usually talk with pretty frequently) since Christmas. My children have had more TV than I care to admit (mostly when we were sick)! I even forgot to do my monthly series here on people's education because I was so relieved to have passed the insurance tests on April 1st. You don't want to see the playroom down here where my 20 month old has lived up to her nickname "tornado". 

We all have those days... or weeks... or months... 

All of this to say, I got a glimpse into how busyness can be a scary teacher sometimes. Let me provide you with a few examples:

• As I said, I've been a little preoccupied as of late, so those times where I would normally be following up on my 20 month's old activities, I've had my 3 1/2 year old "doublecheck" on her sister. This has led to quite a bit of "I'm in charge entitlement" that reared its ugly head today when we had a playdate with several friends here on "her turf". My oldest is a rule follower, so when she saw a child doing something that was not within "the rules" she tattled. A LOT. No matter how many times I corrected her, she persisted. No one wants to have the bossy child, but here she was staring me in the face today. Couldn't help but wonder if at least some of that was a product of my relying too heavily on her assistance.

• Both my girls have been extra clingy lately. I read an article once that said before you complain about how clingy your children have been, you need to make sure you're not part of the problem by pushing them away or diminishing quality time. That article, which is still floating somewhere out on the Internet, makes me have major Mommy guilt during busy times. I feel like since I am staying at home (AND homeschooling) that part of the "deal" is giving my kids all of me, but what exactly does that mean?        

• My husband came back from the church men's retreat sunburned pretty badly from a golf outing. He always has sunscreen in his bag, but he wondered if he took it out for something and did not put it back (which as I have mentioned here, is not like him at all). Understandably, he's been pretty miserable and tired and with my busyness we haven't been able to do our usual chat about our day and read books or news articles routine that we cherish after the kids go to bed. I'd been taking care of the girls all weekend by myself anyway (because he was on the retreat), so last night I just found something else productive to occupy my time. Some evenings it's amazing how quickly we can, each in our own way, find something more "productive" to do rather than spend quality time together. If you want to know the truth, that that is totally how "gray divorce" is popping up more and more in our culture. You do your thing; I'll do mine. Eventually I'll stop needing you and realize that I am financially stable and would be happier doing something else anyway. How utterly tragic to treat vows that way, yet I saw how in 4 days the patterns can start forming if you don't head them off. Ironically, I noticed this on my parent's 35th wedding anniversary yesterday.                   

• Also last week I had a very good conversation with another homeschool mom about trying to keep our schedules clear as we move into doing a few more things structured for homeschooling in August. There are SO many good choices for our children. We could have a playdates every day with a different group of kids and something church-related almost all week if we wanted. Not to mention sports and playground time and family time and oh wait... SCHOOLING and and and....The possibilities are endless for us to take advantage of, but just because you CAN do it, SHOULD you? Should I show disrespect to Justin by "letting the house go" in certain rooms that I can get away with? Should I yell at my children instead of disciplining them appropriately because it's easier to yell? Should I stay down here and check my e-mail and all my social media instead of talking a walk with the girls? I've been guilty of all of these things at one time or another. My life is not perfect and my parenting isn't either.        

In the name of good things what are we sacrificing? I think I just listed several above from my own life. I am trying to make sure I see early on that my kids don't need so much constant socialization as they need quality time. It's all about balance which needs to be reassessed more frequently than a lot of us probably do. 

Yesterday, my oldest and I were having such a joy-filled time when we sat down and did some worksheets. For about 30 minutes we went over a few concepts and really just had a great time together learning. I always think that if I whisk her off to some exciting program that I'm doing her a favor, but time and time again she shows me that she just wants me. 

Can anyone else relate to what I am saying?             

Book Review: Team of Rivals -- The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln

Here is Justin's book review on Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln. Last year many of you probably saw Spielberg bring this book to life in his film Lincoln. I've added this book to my GoodReads.com account :)    


This volume found its way to my mental "to-read" list when it first came out, but life and other books got in the way until I'd almost forgotten about it.

Last fall, thanks to Stephen Spielberg and a low-price copy from the used book store down the street, I finally got to sink my teeth.

Two overriding takeaways from Goodwin's epic cover all other assessments. 

1) This is not a biography of Lincoln. The title implies as much, and though Lincoln probably gets the lion's share of space, the book is as much about the rest of the "rivals" (William H. Seward, Salmon P. Chase, Edward Bates, Edwin M. Stanton, Montgomery Blair, Gideon Welles) who composed Lincoln's cabinet. Various supporting characters in the tapestry of mid-19th century America (George McClellan, Ulysses S. Grant, Jefferson Davis, Roger Taney, Charles Sumner, Horace Greely, Thurlow Weed) get a good look as well. If you're expecting straight biography, you'll be disappointed. As is, the book is an excellent snapshot of one of the most critical periods of American history.

2) The book is worth the hype. Goodwin chases down the various threads of that tapestry to condense a thousand stories into one readable and relatable narrative. She keeps it scholarly (the last 180 pages or so consist of endnotes), but writes engagingly enough to dip into the popular marketplace.

The subtitle gets to the heart of what this book is about--politics. Goodwin has provided the archetypal case study in the compromises, concessions, deals, and late-night wrangling that makes American government tick. 

Lincoln in his time was not the enmarbled statesman hovering at one end of the national mall, but a lawyer who argued his way into the national discourse and only stumbled into the White House because everyone else running had made as many enemies as friends over the course of their careers. His way with words brought him fame, but it was his ability to shrug off offenses and turn enemies into friends that earned him the respect and cooperation needed to be politically effective. He is today remembered as a great man largely because he was willing to be reviled and unpopular rather than waste his energy defending himself. In time, his quiet confidence in the correctness of his actions (right or wrong) won the day instead of the vitriolic denunciations of his opponents.

One aspect of Lincoln's legend that is reinforced by Goodwin is his writing ability. She shows from various sources that Lincoln himself wrote most of his speeches, the words of which still echo across America, often with little input or critique from his advisors. Love him or hate him, everyone was in awe of his ability to condense massive themes of human life into simple, punchy sentences. Even if he had never been president, he would likely be remembered as one of America's greatest writers and orators.

Team of Rivals is certainly worth the time investment to read, and it will certainly expand your knowledge and appreciation for the uniqueness of the man and his times. For me, though, it only gets four stars for two reasons: 1) Goodwin doesn't have much to criticize about Lincoln (such as the constitutionality of his policy choices or his parenting), so he still comes across as somewhat saintly. 2) Good storytelling notwithstanding, some of Goodwin's side trails into other events and political figures can get distracting at times. 

On balance, this is another fine example of why history is fascinating and enlightening and can be almost as much fun to read as the best of literature.